A Side Character

Headphones , books and solitude

i can’t live without them
mere wires that cut me off
from the noise of this world
resigned to a side character
i carry my headphones
seep into the new syndrome
the main character energy
that’s what the internet says

but i’m really just a watcher
a passerby
a story read by none
immersed in my own world

romanticise your life
that's what they say 
you don’t need a witness
buy those flowers
and wear that dress

oh to be loved
is to have a witness
another supposed truth
head bent low
i scrolled for another hour

that’s my world really
a small rectangle
connecting me with the romantics
who were busy filming moments
the loners with prideful nonchalance
and the intellects that find 
a life changing book everyday 

while i read all their thoughts
perfect commas and full stops
wondering which personality
i should pick today
a playlist to suit my dress
yellow is the new red

trust me it’s just me and my blues
blacks to appear careless
and no makeup to appear simple
but it’s just my laziness

it’s just my laziness
and my illusions
maladaptive daydreams
as i refuse to take a new role
the one that truly reflects me
i watch life happening

and that’s what i chose to be
the audience
the naive idiot convinced 
nothing would ever happen to me
as i hear another song
about friendships that stay forever
a yellow dress and black suit
a dip down the ocean
things that never happened to me

cause my hands were tied
by those black wires
head stuck in books
to be a performative intellect
the small screen comes with a new rule
keep down your phone for a while
and so i do

but i’ve lost my voice
what’s my favourite colour?
i’m still the audience
the world's noise is deafening
the truth they never tell you

you’ve forgotten how to just be.